Cals text is always black

Cal's text is always black but black underlined is a timestamp text inserted (for clarity) or replaced (for anonymity) is italicized thing 1 gets blue unnammed 18/yo demoted to orange deletions are in red Cals' commentary is purple the author's commentary is green 🙌and we have chat-level emoticons

Part 1, forgiveness: thing 1

9/28/21 10:39am
thing 1. PleSe come

Where an how

Full page cut. Most of it is fairly incomprehensible thanks to my emotional state and talk to text. Sumary: I describe my relationship with t the abuser.

Each person tells their own story, I am cutting second hand retellings.

I started dating this guy sort of he like was like you sort of

😮 It's hard to explain. he's just a Finesser. I've got nothing out of it 😮 I'm exhausted from by this conversation took three hours and we Shout all the time and this is my closest friend in the whole world right now 😮 All night talking to him he won't leave me alone

. I am physically and mentally exhausted from this whole process I was in Houston that I was in Austin now I'm in Dallas and in Oklahoma City next week I think I've got too much shit with me me I'm such a bitchy queen right now I'm so sorry Ur good an wow damn thats crazyyyy I swear this is like how many bad things that happen to be in a small period of time. The next two things that of happened or complete freak accident have nothing to do with anything else.

. A random guy walking by Saul my car top carrier that I purchased brought his truck back cut it off and took an away with him. All of my clothes are gone

. My car was in the parking lot of the building behind the gate was open I've been packing to leave the next day he was just a random guy driving by

. And then I grabbed the wrong end of a lighter right after It was put out. I just had a full thickness burns on my thumb that became infected I've been to three doctors - they cut open my thumb two days ago. It's still draining

. To top it all off before that, I'm at this very nice heterosexual couples at the grocery store. They had a car they were staying at a friends house in they were completely normal in every single exceot they were swingers. Who cares. We hung out a few times, we went to dinner I went to their place first, they came to my place once

. They happen to call the night I was packing to leave Houston. I said oh my God I'm not even close to being packed can you guys come help me. Theyvhad no idea I was leaving I had and I told him that and they were just calling to hang out

The nice normal couple is incidental, though they could be one of the DIRTY DOZEN. I'll get to them. They came too late to matter. But, that whole story is a lie.

Stole my computers.

. I completely nice normal couples that they had no plans for this just randomly decided to steal my computers. I called the cops and he said what do you expect their well-known scammers around here

.

I think the universe is telling me to let it go. All of it go because bad shit happened and that shits going to continue to happen and if I continue to want to drive me down and I will just be down the whole time

. I think the universe is telling me to chill. I havent touched large stash of crystal meth in two days . A puff just to get rid of the dizziness. But the stash has not been opened again I'll be by today and I handed him smaller but still signifcant amount of crystal meth for free

. I took like two puffs with this guy I met not 10 min after I got here - we talked for two hours, fully clothed, I gave him smaller still but still signifcant enough to compare to my thumb

. I forgive you. Sure I might get mad again one day, but it's forgiven. I can't keep holding onto the parts of people I approve of. There's one thing-1 who has gone to extraordinary measures to Be my friend because of stupid shit we both did. All of thing 1- Even the asshole shows up asking for money before he has his hand clearly trying to scare me, all of him pissed off at you again , but for reasons, not just because

. Asshole who shows up asking for money before has anything in his hand clearly trying to scam me* turns out I'm really bad at texting. 10/6/21, 11:42 AM

I feel like death

. Im hungry dopeless an i feel like complete death my body hurts ass i hands done nothing but sleep an im miserable

10/6/21, 4:21 PM
Plz

I cut some stuff here, maybe 10 lines. He's trying to ask for money. I am as subtle as a sledgehammer. I am trying to get him to say exactly what he wants.

10/7/21 11:52 AM
Hey baby please what what are you asking. Got

10/7/21 2:58 PM
I need HELP can u olz send me 15 or 20 buck for lunch

A picture is included. He has a bright reflective work vest on. Blue collar work scene. He has never had a job before. He is that good looking.

10/7/21 4:31 PM
Are you working!
.

What's your current CashApp

CashApp tag

.
An yes i am sir Isn't is awful, working?

. Shit when I can my car top carrier was taken off my car and taken away by a Rando in Dallas so I have no more clothes and I've been spending money On things like pants. LOL

. In via Rando I mean the guy off the street just randomly walked by and decided he wanted my car top carrier so he sliced it off drove off with it

I forgot I had told him this. No one reads, anyways.

I've only got a little bit right now but I always encourage work even though it sucks

It was the next day before he responded to the $10 I sent him. I held on for a few hours. And, thanks to cosmic synchronicity, the unnamed 18 y/o declined a request to repay me the $50 bus ticket money. God is real. He's just a real asshole, and he's a big proponent of tough love. The asshole.

Part 2, forgiveness: Unnamed 18y/o

9/29/21, 12:10am

He had messaged me and then stopped talking.

I'm sorry this is happening to both of us everything sucks. And apparently have such away you have stepped away from your phone
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I'm sorry to bother you when you message me
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I will talk to you I guess when you have a free moment

9/30/21, 2:46am

I can be your friend

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I’m at the moment complex homeless

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Completely

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No place at all

.

So yeah

10/1, 8:21pm

They cut the straps off the top of my car and took the entire car top carrier

I had a single load of laundry left. A stranger cut ties to my carrier and loaded it into his truck in Dallas. Buddy (my car) had a backpack, and now he didn't. The OKC apt, my next stop, flooded. I sent the boy $50 for a bus ticket. I waited in Denton, TX, north of Dallas, for the apartment and for him in a hotel. I shop for clothes online and at discount stores. I wait. I don't hear much from him.

10/4, 3:54 AM
Check out at 11. 
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The Greyhound station here in Denton is next-door. 
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I want to am at hotel name near unt. Room number

10/4, 11:41 AM

I am leaving Denton, TX as I'm typing. I had tacos, was completely packed, in the car and ready to go. He's Wallas, TX. I thought he misspelled Dallas. Wallas is 4 hours south. Dallas is 45 minutes.

I’m stuck in a small town that just had morsels and I only have $79 left to my name no one is picking me up either

What do I do

Wake up the next day and try harder and hope for the best I guess

Murders*

Murders? What? Was I paying attention to what he was saying?

Get online and start earning money on surveys sites and apps on your phone

Details of

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Can you tell me what apps to get

Logistics discussed of earning money online.

Everyone assumes I am are some funny little faggot. with a huge trash and I was broke in a new city with a new apartment and if since someone didn't show up to help so I was brokenhearted as well. I lived off my cell phone and my cell phone along alone you can do the same you just have to want to do it

An overstatement, but essentially true. Maybe a month, and I had savings, but about $800-1000 was earned in February 2019 off mobile apps. And I am always so proud to tell everyone about it.

10/4, 1:34 PM

Do what

10/4, 3:57 PM

Idk how to do it

I don't understand

I don’t

10/5, 1:24

You dont what

He doesn't read the last text. I'm not angry, but imagine the most dramatic reading of those words. In my bipolar, the Titanic is sinking, and he's Jack.

10/7, 8:03 PM
You didn't even open the last text message
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I forgive you. But that means I have to forget you.
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Good bye. I really wanted a friend. I really did. So fuck you for that, but I forgive you for saying that friend was you.

I'm eating tacos, again, and crying.

I blocked you on cash app

Your saying I wasn’t your friend I told you I am I have to have a certain amount of money to get to a destination first so o can take care of myself

You know I believe that you didn't say that? Because I would've blocked you the minute you said it. Those are the words of a scam artist.

.

I was offering room and board. I know it's like a fish I pay you any more money for anything? I'm sure you've eaten I'm sure you've gotten around town she's had a ride back to Houston

I’m not even with her anymore

Her is a girlfriend he rarely mentions.

I’m not a scammer

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I’m a real 18 year old

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I still have ur miney dude

I don't care who your with or what you're doing. You were looking for a ride back to Houston to use my 50 hours to get here. And I gave it to you I guess my better judgment and that is my fault I'm sorry I did that

I have had a lot of problems come up

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I literally still have the 50 dollars

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I’ve been waiting

I knew I wouldn't get the money back when I gave it, doubted he'd buy the bus ticket. If I was sure, I would have bought the ticket for him. I did that for thing 2 once, he didn't show up. (Thing 2 is different from thing 1 - Keep up.)

I'm not mad at you I'm mad at me. And the more we talk The more it's going to seem like I'm mad at you. But I'm just mad at me

.

For example, I bought a car top carrier so you could fit in my car and come with me it was stolen in Dallas: Along with all of my clothes. The total so far as cost me $800. That is decision I made and that is my fault if I talk too much it's going to seem like I'm blaming you and I'm not

.

I'm trying to bring this to a close that I can move on I like things have closure

Please, just say good bye when you leave. And I'm not mad. I'm explaining my journey and his role. I'm not mad.

I really planned to come sooner but personal issues came up

I'm not saying you're lying I'm simply saying I'm not sure you're telling the whole truth

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Now I have to go back to work OK

Well I am and if you seen me in person you’d know

I saw the cash app notification where you declined my repayment so I had to close it out

It felt like a slap in the face, without a comment or explanation (or apology, TBH - how would that have played out?).

Because I thought you wanted me to use it to get to you

I do forgive you. I am letting things go. And that means forgetting things, no matter how badly they meant.

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I do

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But you're in survival mode now. Emergencies going to come up and you're gonna have to use it

So now I can’t still use the money like I still had plans to to come there

And I'm not gonna be mad at you for that. That's the forgiveness part. Idk I haven't forgiven anyone in a very long time and I came to realize that's what's holding me back

.

Darling you're always welcome at my doorstep

.

Always and forever but you don't even know where that is anymore

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I'm in Oklahoma now

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Every place is hiring. It's all within walking distance. The neighborhood is central and a bus stop is less than a wuarter mile from my door

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You're always welcome here.

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But you have to survive and don't let the "going to stay with the old faggot" become so quarantined that you can't. Use it how you see fit. Maybe you can start a savings account. I have a hotel for a night.

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Whatever just I'm releasing it for your judgment. It's yours.

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If you find yourself heading this way, lmk. I'll keep a light on.

.

And everyone will say I'm trying to make you feel guilty or something - that's not the purpose. It might be super narcissitic to do this to people but they are you are - I'm a narcissist, and I like closure. And I want you to Has the same things I want for everybody else would you be happy healthy horny high and home safe. Get home safe.

We reference Oklahoma the musical, and he makes a half hearted offer to earn enough money to get here. To me, it's simple: he's homeless, I'm offering a place for at least a few weeks and not on the other side of the world. He asked to come! Right? Right?! Right... I never cared about the money. It wasn't about the money It's about value. He valued money. I have different values.

Happy. healthy. horny. high. and home safe. (I don't add the obvious conclusion: "...with me.") To think, I don't even remember his name.